Shirtless thirst traps?

My therapist asked me why I'm so obsessed with social media.

I told her it's because I'm dead inside and the dopamine hit from notifications is the only thing that makes me feel alive.

She wrote something down.

I'm pretty sure it wasn't "this guy's crushing it."

But here's the thing:

While I may need professional help…

At least I'm not one of those social media bros posting shirtless mirror selfies with captions like "consistency is key 💪🔥."

Brother, you're 42 years old with 3 kids.

Put your shirt back on and stop making your profile picture look like a Grindr ad.

(No shame if you're actually ON Grindr. Get it, king. But let's keep LinkedIn professional-ish.)

I grew to 500,000 followers without:

• Posting my morning routine at 4:37am.

• Resorting to thirst traps (I got the boobs for it)

• Pretending I read 47 books a month while running a "7-figure empire."

You know how I did it?

I stopped trying to be Gary Vee and started being an actual human being with a personality.

(Wild concept, I know).

Most people treat LinkedIn like it's a corporate funeral.

Everyone's dressed up, nobody's saying what they actually think, and we're all just waiting for it to be over.

But here's what I learned:

People don't follow boring. They follow interesting.

And interesting doesn't mean posting "5 tips for productivity" for the 8 millionth time.

It means understanding basic human psychology and giving people a reason to actually give a sh*t about you.

That's why I created the GAP Framework.

A stupidly simple system that helped me grow my LinkedIn, Twitter, YouTube, and Instagram while maintaining my dignity (and my shirt).

The Only 3 Types of Content You Need To Grow On Social Media

1. Growth Content: Get them to KNOW you

Nobody gives a flying f*ck about you (except me, I love you).

That's the harsh truth. When you're starting out, you're just another face in an ocean of "thought leaders" and "disruptors."

So how the hell do you stand out from the noise?

You hijack attention from things people already care about.

• Talk about trending topics, viral news, popular figures.

• Connect those topics back to your expertise.

• Hook them with the headline, convert them with the value.

See what I did there?

I used Elon (someone they know) to teach a lesson about ghostwriting (something they need).

It's like being the friend who shows up to the party everyone's already at, instead of throwing your own party in an empty room.

2. Authority Content: Get them to TRUST you

Here's where most people screw up up.

They create "how to" content that sounds like every other guru on the internet.

"How to get clients..." "How to grow on social media..." "How to not be a broke loser..."

Boring. Generic. Forgettable.

Instead, flip it to "how I."

• Share your specific results and case studies.

• Break down the exact systems you use.

• Show proof that you actually know what you're talking about.

This isn't just advice. It's proof. It's credibility. It's you saying, "I've actually done what I'm teaching."

Less theory. More receipts.

3. Personal Content: Get them to LIKE you

This is the content your competitors can't copy because it's built from your unique life experiences, your autistic weird personality, your specific worldview.

• Tell vulnerable stories about your journey.

• Let people see the human behind the headline

• Share your controversial opinions (pineapple DOES belong on pizza, fight me)

Logic gets people to follow you. Emotion turns them into die-hard fans who would consider drinking your cult’s Kool Aid.

The bottom line:

• You don't need to post 17 times a day.

• You don't need to shake yo ass on camera.

• You don't need to follow some guru's "proven system" that worked in 2019.

You need to give a shit about providing value to real humans who have real problems.

1) Use Growth Content to cast a wide net.

2) Use Authority Content to prove you're not full of sh*t.

3) Use Personal Content to build an actual connection.

That's it. That's the chef’s secret sauce.

And if you're still thinking about the shirtless thirst trap strategy... look, do you.

But don't be surprised when your DMs are full of eggplant emojis instead of client inquiries.

Unless that's your thing.

Again, no judgment.

Your Canadian friend,

Dakota “Create GAP and They’ll Give a Crap” Robertson