I was best man at a wedding for a guy I never met

It all started in a war zone in Russia when I was 13-years-old.

• Gunfire…

• Explosions…

• Murder…

Were all a regular occurrence for me (especially on weekends).

Nearly every day, I’d turn on my Xbox and play my favorite video game:

Because that's where the fat and nerdy 13-year-old me spent most of my time.

Controller in hand, headset on, lost in Call of Duty: Black Ops.

But little did I know that those pixels and particles would lead me to one of the most important relationships of my life.

That's when I met AJ.

His voice rumbled through my headset like distant thunder. A black 14-year-old with a voice with enough bass to be mistake as a 24-year-old man.

Meanwhile, I squeaked back with all the authority of a rubber duck.

But something clicked between us that day when we got to chatting in the game (probably because we both shared a dark sense of humor).

And over the next decade, that Xbox connection became my lifeline.

Throughout those years we grew close. He was the only person I shared all my struggles with.

• AJ was there when I went through my first break up.

• AJ was there when I dealt with my father’s crack addiction.

• AJ was there when my mother passed away from an overdose.

AJ wasn't just an online gamer pal, he was my best friend I never even met.

Then life did what it does best…

It got complicated.

Jobs replaced gaming sessions and annual birthday messages replaced late-night talks.

Our friendship didn't end, it just... paused.

Until 2022, When My Phone Lit Up With a Message That Changed Everything

"Hey man, I'm getting married. Will you be my best man?"

I said yes immediately.

…then panic set in.

See, I'd spent the last few years building a life as a ghostwriter.

I'd learned how to craft words that moved people, that sold products, that built businesses.

But this?

This was different.

This was for AJ.

Doubtful questions filled my mind:

• “How do I distill 12 years of friendship into 2-minute speech? “

• “How do I thank him for being my digital guardian angel through the darkest chapters of my life?”

• “How do I not f*ck this up in front of the 100+ people?”

I procrastinated until I was at the point I couldn’t any longer.

The wedding was 3 days away and I was on a 3-hour plane ride to Atlanta.

So there I sat, crammed in my too-small of a seat frantically typing into Apple Notes, trying to turn a decade of memories into something worthy of the moment.

AJ had been there for me my whole life, so I was terrified of bombing this best man speech for him.

I’d never forgive myself if I screwed this up.

Next Thing I Knew, I Was at The Glory Hole…

12 years had led to this moment.

From talking online when I was 13…

To meeting him in person when I was 25.

It’s hard to put into words, but the best way I could describe it was meeting a long-lost family member.

When we finally met each other in person, we just hugged and started laughing at how surreal it was.

And although I was anxious for the best man speech, I was also excited for the ceremonial bachelor party.

The next night we went bar hopping.

(One of which was a church-themed bar called the Glory Hole lol).

It was definitely a night to remember, but the real moment of truth came the next day…

The Result of My Speech Made Me Cry

I counted down the time until I had to give the speech like I was waiting for a nuclear bomb to go off.

• 12 hours turned to 6…

• 6 hours turned to 3…

• 3 hours turned to 1…

I sat at the dinner table anxiously waiting for my name to be called in front of 100+ people.

My stomach churned as I heard the DJ say: “And now, we’d like to call up the best man to say a few words!”

“Fuck.” I thought to myself as a jolt of adrenaline kicked in.

12 years of friendship had led to this single moment. My body went into autopilot as my brain went into panic mode.

I stood up from my seat and started walking to the front of the room.

I felt every pair of eyes stare at me as I grabbed the microphone.

Then something strange happened.

All those years of crafting words for others suddenly made sense in a new way.

Learning to write hadn't just given me the financial and time freedom to fly to Atlanta, it had taught me how to speak to a room full of strangers.

For the next 2-minutes, I wasn't a gamer or a ghostwriter.

I was a storyteller, weaving together 12 years of friendship into words.

I shared the story of how AJ and I met.

How he was always there for me through dark times.

And how I was proud to witness him transform from a boy to the man he was today.

Not only was I tearing up as I gave the speech, but many people in the crowd were crying too.

And as the last words of the speech left my lips, I realized something:

Writing hadn't just changed my bank account.

It changed me.

It gave me the tools to honor one of the most important relationships in my life.

To transform pixels and voice chats into poetry.

To take an online friendship and make it real for a room full of people who'd never understood how you could love someone you'd never met.

And sure, I was proud of myself for nailing the speech…

But more importantly?

I was proud that I honored one of the most important day’s of my best friend’s life.

Happy Thursday, beautiful people.

Your Canadian friend,

Dakota “Gamer and Ghostwriter” Robertson