How 2 write gewd content

When I started writing online, I’d often stare at a blank Google Doc for 47 minutes.

My cursor would blink at me as if it were mocking me.

(Little bastard)

Every sentence I typed sounded like cringe corporate bullsh*t.

So I'd delete it.

Start over.

Delete again.

You know what I realized sitting there, paralyzed by my own brain?

I was treating writing like a college essay.

And that's exactly what they trained us to do.

School taught us that "good writing" means:

• Using big words to sound intelligent (compensating for something?).

• Following a rigid 5-paragraph structure (because creativity is dangerous).

• Never saying "I" or "you" (God forbid you sound like a human).

• Removing all personality so it sounds "professional" (aka: neutered).

No wonder nobody reads that sh*t.

The education system made our writing drier than a nun at an orgy.

But I’m here to preach the writing gospel:

Online writing isn't about sounding smart. It's about being real.

People are bored ofreading the same sanitized "thought leadership" garbage that sounds like it was written by an HR manager.

When I finally figured this out, everything changed.

I stopped writing like some LinkedIn influencer who sounds like a walking TED Talk…

And started writing like I was texting a friend an unhinged story.

The result?

• My audience connected with me.

• My engagement grew.

• I actually had fun writing.

So I’d like to share how to actually write in a way that’s authentic to you.

The "Ear Editor" Method

When I write at cafes, I mumble to myself like a crazy person.

Now, some people might think I’m off my meds and about to shoot up the place…

But it actually serves a specific purpose:

I read my writing out loud to hear if it sounds human.

Because our ears are much better at detecting mistakes than our eyes.

Hearing our writing out loud helps us find the robotic sentences, clunky phrasing, and out of place words.

So you write, read it out loud.

Literally.

Use yo mouth. Make sounds n’ stuff.

• If you stumble over a sentence? Rewrite it.

• If it sounds like something you'd never say to your best friend? Delete it.

• If you sound like a robot explaining tax code? Burn it with fire and start over.

Here's what this looks like in practice:

Before (Corporate Potato IQ Mode)

"Entrepreneurs should leverage strategic risk-taking methodologies to optimize their business outcomes."

After (Actual Human Mode)

"I was 13, sitting in a stranger's Civic for 3 hours while my mom's boyfriend sold dope. I learned more about risk that day than I did in 3 years of college."

See the difference?

One sounds like it was approved by the legal department.

The other sounds like something that actually happened to a real person.

My Challenge To You (Do This Today)

I write true to my thoughts and style.

And because of this, my writing has been called "unprofessional," "offensive," and "stupid."

But I’ll tell ya what… it’s never been called “boring.”

Sure, you can write like everyone else and blend in perfectly. You'll get a few likes from other people writing the same bland content.

Hell, maybe your mom will share it.

Or you can write like yourself—dumb jokes, controversial takes, relatable stories—and actually write words that connect.

So here’s my challenge to you…

Before you close this email, try the Ear Editor Method:

1. Open whatever project you’re working on.

2. Read the first paragraph out loud.

3. Ask yourself: "Would I say this to my best friend in person?"

4. If the answer is no, rewrite it like you're talking to a friend who calls bullsh*t when they hear it.

Then hit publish before you chicken out.

Because the world doesn’t need another "10 ways to boost productivity" post.

We need your weird-ass perspective.

Your unfiltered personality.

Your true voice.

Your Canadian friend,

Dakota “Write Your Way” Robertson

Personal Update

I decided to see what all the hype was about.

Last week, I arrived in Bali.

Been sweating my ballz off, but it’s been a cool spot so far.

If you got any recommendations for gyms, restaurants, or things to do, shoot me an email!