How being a fat ass changed my life...

I sat in 6th grade social studies class, my face burning red with embarrassment.

A moment earlier, there was a brief pause during the teacher’s talk.

During that pause, the entire class overheard a few kids in the back whispering about me.

“…Dakota, that fat kid.” was all everyone heard.

At that moment, death seemed like a sweeter option than the double stuffed Oreos I used to scarf down.

It felt like the entire world was closing in on me.

I swear, the 5 second pause of silence felt like 50 years.

For a long time, I didn’t view myself as “good enough,” but now I felt exposed.

But…

It was one of the best things to happen to me.

Until that day, I was passive in my life.

I gave into cheap dopamine:

• Video games

• Junk food

• Porn

But the pain I felt that day created a drive in me.

I never wanted to feel humiliation for who I was again.

So, I became obsessed with destroying who I was.

I began waking up at 5am and going to YMCA group bootcamps with my mom’s boyfriend before school.

I stopped eating as much trash food.

I worked out until I threw up.

And I fucking loved it.

Each minute I spent was a step away from who I was and a step toward who I wanted to become.

It took months before I saw any changes.

But I remember clear as day the first time I did…

I looked in the mirror and noticed definition in my stomach I never saw before.

I spent 20 minutes looking in the mirror with a huge grin on my face.

It was one of the happiest days of my life.

All those early mornings, sweaty workouts, and agonizing reps were paying off.

I was hooked.

The years that followed, I went all in and became known as “the jacked guy.”

I turned my biggest weakness into my greatest strength.

But why do I tell you this story?

Well, this experience was foundational for everything else in my life.

I used to be socially anxious, so I leaned into my discomfort and became confident.

I used to be a poor writer, so I leaned into my discomfort and became a full-time writer.

And currently, I know I need improvement with my speaking skills.

So, what did I do?

I started a podcast.

I have no idea how to run a podcast, what to say, or how to talk. Hell, I’m 7 episodes in and I haven’t even come up with a name for it yet.

I feel awkward and self-conscious at moments.

But, I’m leaning into it.

I’m embracing my fuck-ups and giving myself permission to suck.

Because whatever discomfort you feel about yourself, it’s often a sign you need to lean into it.

You need to put in the reps because that’s the only way you’ll improve.

Be willing to see minimal progress for the first bit.

Most people want results instantly, and that’s why most never see any.

If you can create a long-term vision for who you want to become, the short-term screw ups become irrelevant.

The screw-ups along the way become reps that strengthen you.

So, my friend, whatever you’re insecure about at the moment, I encourage you to lean into it.

Write down who you want to become and the character traits you need to develop to get there.

Then list out the daily actions you need to take to develop those traits.

If you’re self-conscious about writing, tweet every day on Twitter.

If you’re self-conscious about talking, start small talk with cashiers.

If you’re self-conscious about your weight, walk 10K steps every day.

Over time, these small steps repeated daily will form your new baseline.

You’ll realize what used to scare you has become your new normal.

Repeat this process and one day you’ll look back on your life and realize you’re a completely new person.

Happy Thursday.

Hope it’s one filled with lots of discomfort ;)

Your Canadian friend,

Dakota “Fatty to Chaddy” Robertson